We often hear that we shouldn’t lie, but is it better to tell the truth? Well, it’s complicated.
Whether you should tell the truth or do something else is not always black and white. This solely depends on the context of the situation you are in.
We’ll discuss the situations you may face in your life where telling the truth can be the best thing to do, and other situations that are a little more of a gray area.
When is it better to tell the truth?
The truth shall set you free, as they say. I can say, without a doubt, that this is absolutely true. There have been moments in my life where telling the truth changed the course of my life forever, and for the better. Let’s look at the ways you can tell if it is better to tell the truth.
1) Radical Honesty To Curb Self-Doubt
This is, by far, the most fun you will ever have telling the truth. You might be wondering, “How does telling the truth even benefit me?” Well, tell the truth with radical honesty, and you will see people have a magnetic pull towards you because your decisiveness creates attraction.
By being radically honest, you are able to curb and silence any internal insecurity you might have about yourself. So often we doubt our capabilities or feel like nothing we say has value. If you practice speaking and being unapologetically yourself at every moment, you will see that everything just seems to happen your way effortlessly.
If you struggle to speak up, doubt your words and beliefs, or are just shy, practice saying the first thing on your mind. You want to feel like you can finally be your own person and stop living based on others’ views and opinions of you.
It may be hard at first to be radically honest, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. A good way to start is to say the first thing that’s on your mind when someone speaks with you, and if you don’t say it, you have to go back and say it. Eventually, you will feel freer and freer. True empowerment.
2) Telling The Truth When Learning Courage
So now that you have learned to unapologetically be yourself, the next way to know when to tell the truth is when you are learning to be courageous.
Why is courage necessary? Well, as your life improves by constantly working on the four pillars (health, wealth, relationships, and spirituality), your search for a more peaceful environment becomes stronger, while your tolerance for non-peace gets lower. Courage is what you must master if you ever want to have peace in your life.
As you grow internally, others’ egos do not take too kindly to your spiritual progression. They can lash out at you, scheme to tear you down, or try to silence your voice through constant mocking, passive aggressiveness, or making you feel guilty.
In the face of adversity, speaking your truth is the only way to cut through the ego’s attacks.
I remember facing a situation where I was being mocked for my beliefs and had several people’s egos targeting me. I silenced them through my calm presence and simply stating facts that shut down their lies. They had nothing to say and backed down because they couldn’t argue with facts.
Only standing for truth and speaking with courage will get you through those tough moments around those who don’t respect you. Speaking courageous truth should only be applied in self-defense and not as an attack.
The Gray Areas of Telling The Truth
I’m not saying I’m an advocate for lying. I think telling the truth is a little more complicated than a simple black and white point of view. We often label truth as being good and lying as bad, but I think it falls more on a spectrum with different variations, gradations, and factors.
Not every situation is the same. In one situation, a lie could save your life, and in another it could be your ruin. The same applies to telling the truth. So, there are gray areas that need to be addressed.
3) Staying Silent So Others Can Learn
Is it better to tell the truth at all costs in order to make your point heard or stand for what you believe is right and just? Not exactly. Sometimes silence can speak louder than words.
Staying silent in specific situations can help others learn something they otherwise wouldn’t learn if you spoke up. Why is that? It’s a matter of reverse psychology.
If you want someone to change, it’s often more effective to let them fully experience the consequences of their bad behavior. When you intervene and tell them how they “should” be, it can backfire. Their ego will likely resist your advice simply because it came from you, often causing them to double down on the very behavior you’re trying to help them change.
The goal is to let them learn through experience, rather than what you think is best for them. Here’s an example:
Your friend keeps getting into relationships with toxic people. You’ve warned them before, multiple times. But each time, they justify it. You finally choose silence. Months later, after another painful breakup, they reflect and say, “You know, I think I finally see the pattern. I’m choosing these people to avoid being alone.”
Your silence created space for them to hear their own inner truth, not yours.
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4) Situational Non-truth, To Avoid Negative Outcomes
“JT, are you telling me to lie!?” Yes, but not really. Lying has a negative connotation; what I’m saying here is not to tell the truth in certain situations when telling the truth can be harmful to your life or spiritual progression.
If you are lying because you’re seeking to gain something or avoiding a negative repercussion, and you’re in the wrong, then I do not advocate lying. Lying to protect yourself, for your own lack of integrity, will only dig yourself into a deeper hole.
What I’m talking about here is if you are living a life of integrity and you know a situation is dangerous or harmful to your well-being, it is wise to avoid it without being 100% radically honest or you risk putting a target on your head.
Some examples of this:
- Telling a “draining” friend or family member you’re busy to protect your energy.
- Letting a colleague be right to avoid escalation of unnecessary conflict.
- Deflecting a religious or political conversation by changing topics abruptly.
- Downplaying your success to avoid envy or resentment.
- Giving a false response to a suspicious person to protect your safety.
These are the most obvious examples where you can see that truth is not totally dependent on what you say. Truth is dependent on the context of the situation, taking into account all possible variables, and then choosing the answer that will lead to integrity and peace.
5) Give The Truth Only When Asked
Similar to the idea of staying silent, this approach takes it a step further by offering the truth only when asked. This allows people to learn their lessons, but it keeps you open to giving them advice with radical honesty when the person is ready and seeking it.
Eventually, as you grow spiritually, others will begin to view you as being secure and competent. They will look towards you as a role model or their “rock” to keep them stable. They’ll start to ask for advice.
To not share your truth would actually be harmful to you and others in the long run. Your advice has the capacity to help people overcome lifelong struggles and, by sharing your advice, you open the door for them to help you in the future if you ever need it.
The key is to share your truth only when asked. If you offer it prematurely, people may reject it, simply because it’s unsolicited. But holding it back out of pride or superiority serves no one either. When someone asks, that’s the signal they’re ready to receive it.
The ultimate truth is your pursuit of truth
So, is it better to tell the truth? The answer is yes! … with some gray areas. These are all ways to know when and how the truth should be used.
Because truth depends on the situation, it is important to use your intuition to discern what situation calls for which way to tell the truth.
At some points in your spiritual journey, you may be working on learning to speak up and be courageous. At other points, you may be practicing silence to allow others to come to their own realizations. Each day carries a new lesson and only your intuition will know what to do in those moments.
The most important takeaway from all of this is to focus on your internal pursuit of truth. This is how one grows spiritually, through self-discovery of life’s most important lessons.
Through this pursuit, you will discover new parts of yourself you never knew existed—parts that have been quietly waiting to awaken. From there, your truth begins to radiate, not as something you force onto the world, but as a natural extension of who you’ve become. Your presence alone becomes the message.
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