This is a super controversial post to make nowadays. The internet is riddled right now (and has been for some time) with people talking about how great it is to not have kids. How they have so much time and money now. How peaceful their life is. Or my favorite, they somehow believe they are now saints and doing the world a favor by not bringing another child into this godforsaken world. Yet, they still somehow have the time and energy to take care of a dog, or multiple dogs. In this post I’m going to cover which brings more meaning to your life, dogs or kids?
do you have dogs or kids?
Before we jump into the meat and potatoes of this grand debate, let me first ask everyone, “Do you have a dog or a kid?” Very rarely, are you going to hear someone with a kid talk about how they wish they never did. If that is the case, I am praying for that child. All too often I have seen those who shun kids not even have any. What do you know about what you never had?
“But JT, do you have a dog or a kid?” I have a kid, but before my kid, I had a dog. Her name was Artemis. She was beautiful greyhound. Such a sweetheart. The kindest dog you’ll ever meet. She was so elegant and regal.
Not only did I have a dog, I had a very well trained and mannered dog. Every time my wife and I brought her to public spaces or social gatherings, people would comment how sweet she is and well-trained. She did not jump up, she did not bark, she just licked you lightly and loved to be pet.
You see, dog training was a big hobby of mine. There was something rewarding about taking a live animal and shaping it into the thing you want it to become. With Artemis, I was able to shape her into the standard I had for my household, Peace and Calm.
The lack of training with a lot of dogs today speaks volumes about their owners since dogs (and kids) are essentially our mirrors. For every 1 obedient, peaceful dog that actually listens to its owner, I think I’ve seen 200 anxious, yappy, and aggressive dogs.
So now that my credentials have been verified on what makes me qualified to speak on dogs, let’s move on to a side by side comparison of what a dog or a child can bring to your life.
What can and Can’t your dog or Kid Bring to Your Life
Since I have had a dog and currently have a kid, I believe I am qualified to speak on both. Let’s cover a dog first.
A dog can love you, but it can’t understand you
A dog loves you unconditionally, I don’t think there is any doubt about that. They see you for what you bring to them: food, shelter, and comfort. You know, the basics. Dogs are not rational creatures. They do not understand or empathize. When nana passed away and your dog put its head on your lap, it didn’t know nana was gone, it knew you were sad and wanted to comfort you.
I’m not knocking a dog for that, that is a beautiful thing and better than what most animals can do. However, true empathy, like what a friend can do for another friend, is a human trait. To be able to understand one another because we’ve all been through something similar, is a deeper connection than what any animal can do.
A dog can be trained, but it can’t train itself
Dog training is actually a human invention. Dogs don’t train themselves in the wild. Dogs are dogs, and without human guidance, they revert back to their primal nature. I don’t need to go into detail on what that looks like, you can turn on Animal Planet for that one. Oftentimes, humans don’t understand this and we end up treating dogs like they are humans.
You’ve seen it, the pet parents who dress up their dogs, put them in strollers, talk to them like babies, need I say more? I think we forget the animal aspect to a dog. They can’t be human nor can they be trained to be like a human. They can only be dogs, with a layer of social conditioning, provided by the human, so they don’t wreck grandpappy’s 18th century sofa.
A human on the other hand, can learn to teach themselves, provided a little guidance in the beginning. What’s that saying? “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Human nature is to problem solve. Probably why we love those human survival shows.
Dogs can make you healthy, but they will take up your time and money like there’s no tomorrow.
A walked dog is a good dog. A walked human is a healthy human. Going on walks was probably the biggest pro to owning a dog. I’d get up at 7 a.m. and straight away take Artemis out for a walk around the neighborhood. It was a great way to get in steps since I worked from home. Not only did I stay in good walking shape, but it had the double effect of tiring Artemis out which made her less rambunctious.
But if you think a dog won’t take up your time, you are sorely mistaken. The time walking in total to keep my dog healthy was about 1.5 hours out of my day. I was only able to leave her home alone for 6 hours at a time or else she would pee everywhere. That meant no late nights spent out, no spontaneous road trips, we had to be home by a certain time, all the time. Now you might say, “Kids are the same way!” No, they are not, because I can at least take my kid anywhere because he’s a human. There are limitations to the places you can go with a dog and you must take that into account.
Dogs are also very expensive. I believe for my son’s birth we paid $0 with our health insurance. When Artemis needed stitches on her leg we paid a whopping $1100. Not to mention all the medications and sprays we had to put her on for other skin issues. Dogs are not cheap. Dogs need their own health insurance, what does that tell you? I’ll get to why kids are actually cheaper than you think in a bit.
A kid will make you tear your hair out, but you will learn to love uncondonditionally
I’m a firm believer that you don’t know how to love unconditionally until you have a kid. What does it mean to love unconditionally? It’s the kind of love where you are willing to sacrifice yourself for the sake of something or someone else. That type of love will push you to your absolute limit, and then a little farther.
I won’t lie, when your kid is crying and wanting your attention when you’re busy, or you walk into the bathroom and they’ve rummaged through the cabinet leaving all the toilet paper rolls unraveled, you are annoyed and pissed. But when you push forward beyond your capacity to provide and care for them, not only does your kid benefit from that, but you as a person will actualize a potential you did not think you were capable of.
Say bye to your sleep when you have a kid, say hello to rich memorable experiences
First off, let me just say that the lack of sleep thing is overblown when you have kids, but only if you are serious about sleep training your child as soon as they they are able to (4 months old). But yes, those late nights you had in your 20s, partying until 3 a.m., are a thing of the past. You will have to learn to have a normal sleep schedule in order to function optimally during the day.
That lack of sleep means nothing in comparison to how rich a kid will make your life. What do I mean by rich? Well you know that feeling you get on Christmas morning, you’re in your pajamas, have some coffee or cocoa, you see dad passed out drunk under the tree with cookie crumbs on his face… (wait, sorry was having a terrible flashback). Anyways, that feeling you can feel every day, and all it takes is a smile or laugh from your child. It makes it all worth it.
Now when you do your normal day to day activities, your kid joins too. They make the experience 2000% more fun. You used to just go to the store for some deodorant and kombucha, now you go to the store and your kid is running around in the clothes racks and farting up a storm. Those are the sweet sweet memories that will stay with you forever, and that’s just the warmup.
With a kid, your monthly bills will go up, but you’ll be blessed with money
Something happens when you have a kid, it’s like the stars align and people start to support you. You need a crib, stroller, clothes? Your family and friends all seem to blindly throw their money and resources at you. Perhaps it’s a higher power blessing you for adding another life form to this earth? In any case, life seems to take care of life.
In terms of making more money, well let’s go back to what I mentioned about sacrifice. Now that you have a child, that feeling of panic sets in, “How am I going to make this work?” All of sudden the perfect plan arises as to how you will make more money. You’ll start updating your resume’, decipher how to land a 6-figure job, and you’ll do it effortlessly. Before, you were just fine waiting tables at the diner down the street, now you’re plotting how to be the next CEO of a fine dining establishment.
You will see your monthly bills go up when you have kids. The good news is that babies aren’t that expensive. The most you will see is your monthly bill go up a couple hundred dollars (diapers, extra food, toys). Otherwise, the price of them goes up as your income goes up, and you tend to earn more the older you get. Staying ahead of it by planning for their college, saving, and investing is all that is needed to end up in a good place 30 years down the road.
Having kids isn’t a walk in the park, but if you decide to have them, it’s important to have the perfect teammate by your side. Read: No Turning Back: Find Your Soulmate By Having Rock-Solid Standards
The Verdict? Dogs or kids
Let’s go back to the pet parent who put Rover in a tutu. Why do they do it? Because it’s cute! Hey, to each their own. But could it be that the rise of a dog-obsessed culture is the fear of the responsibility of having a kid? The keyword here is fear. Should we be making life decisions out of fear?
A dog can teach us responsibility to a degree but it can’t teach us to sacrifice. Sacrifice, to our ego, is never the goal. However, sacrifice is the very thing that brings a more meaningful life. Ten million dollars won in a lottery will disappear quickly, while ten million dollars earned will stay because of the trials and tribulations it took to achieve it. (Just sit with that for a while young grasshopper).
You may ask, “Well why would I want difficulty? Life is already hard as it is, and now I’m going to add a kid onto that.” To that I will answer, “Life is only hard because you haven’t chosen sacrifice.” It has to be chosen willingly and that is how you transcend fear.
Perhaps this debate didn’t sway you, perhaps it did. My goal was never to dissuade you from dog ownership. Remember, I’m a dog lover too. My goal was to show that there is something deeper going on within and not just what we see on the surface. At the end of the day, you can have a both a dog and a kid. That will surely teach sacrifice.