“She’s perfect! She is everything I could ever want in a partner. She understands me! She’s sooo hot! I can’t wait to show her off to my friends.” Does this sound like you? (You may need to substitute “he/him” depending on who you’re dating).
Most new relationships make you feel on top of the world at first—but how long does the honeymoon phase last in dating before reality sets in?
In this post, we’ll answer that. Depending on your current situation, the honeymoon phase ending is a critical moment that could potentially change your life forever. I’ll help you navigate it.
What is the honeymoon phase?
The honeymoon phase is a period in a new relationship that is filled with intense emotions, physical desire, and romantic chemistry. It’s often viewed as the peak of human connection, with the hope of making it last forever.
Alas, all things come and go. Such is the sad life of humans, always striving to make something permanent in an impermanent world. If only we could control the laws of nature.
This brief period of excitement and passion is unlike any experience you will find in life because it can happen several times (if you’re dating a lot, like in your 20s) or it can happen once because you found your soulmate and are no longer in the dating game.
The honeymoon phase teaches you one thing: whether you’re truly compatible for the long haul, or if your journey with that person is destined to end.
How Long Does the Honeymoon Phase Last in Dating?
Contrary to what people might think, the honeymoon phase in dating doesn’t necessarily last a specific length of time, but lasts as long as it takes for one of two things to happen:
- If the relationship is going well, it naturally evolves—conversations deepen, and you’re both willing to take the next steps beyond initial attraction.
- If things are going poorly, doubts begin to creep in. The excitement fades, and the relationship hits a plateau.
If I had to put a timeline on it, it could range anywhere from 1-12 months. I have yet to see or experience anything go longer than a year without one of the two scenarios above starting to play out.
How long the honeymoon phase lasts while dating depends entirely on the emotions and connection between the two individuals.
If the relationship Is Going Well
How do you know a relationship is even going well? Do you judge it based on physical attraction? The fact that you make each other laugh? Perhaps you like the things that person can bring you (kids, marriage, wealth, experiences, etc.)?
The answer to all those questions is it’s none of that, but it’s also all of that at the same time. Here’s what I mean by that:
You’ll know when things are going well because you both feel effortlessly drawn to each other and your life seems to get better and better the more time that is spent together.
It sounds like common sense, doesn’t it? That’s because it is. When things are going well in a relationship, you feel an upward trajectory. Doors simply open in your life and your partner’s life just by being together.
Your wealth increases, your health improves, you start hitting relationship goals quickly (engagement, marriage, kids, house), and your soul feels at peace.
What you really love about the person is their very core and essence, their soul. Even deeper, you love their willingness to constantly be better. In other words, their “open-mindedness to change.”
The result? A life filled with adventure, experiencing things most people don’t get to, attraction for your partner in all aspects, sustainable long-term wealth, more lightheartedness and good health, and marriage and kids to bring you more meaning.
Related Reading: Dogs Or Kids, Which Brings More Meaning To Your Life?
You love the person for who they are, plus you get all the “worldly” stuff along with it which is nice too.
If Things Are Going Poorly
If you agree with what I said above about when things are going well, you probably already know what I’m going to say when things are going poorly. You’re likely right to assume it’s the exact opposite of what I mentioned above, but there is one caveat to all of this. Let’s continue.
To know when a relationship is going poorly is a fine line. The caveat is that things will seemingly appear to be good on the outside, but on the inside you both know things are not good. Look for this:
You’ll know when things are going poorly because there is a lack of flow to the relationship due to internal doubts, skepticism, disagreements, and judgments towards one another.
Why do we stay in bad relationships? Because we lack the proper discernment of our partner’s hidden internal motives, as well as not trusting our own gut feelings that have been signaling that something is off.
If this is the case, it doesn’t matter what this person can bring you in a material sense. They can be the hottest, richest, funniest, most charming person you’ve ever met—but if their essence and soul don’t align with yours, none of it will ever feel right. (See: How To Find Your Soulmate By Having Standards).
Negative Signs to lookout for During the Honeymoon Phase
It can be hard to find that fine line between the good and bad signs during the initial stages of a relationship. Emotions are high from the start, which can make it difficult to discern whether things are going well or not, but gradually, you will start to see the relationship trending upwards or downwards.
From my experience, it’s easier to find signs that are negative because the positive aspects will just be enjoyed rather than being judged. A relationship that is going well will keep you in effortless attraction, whereas a relationship that is rocky, will feel… well, rocky.
Here are some examples where things seem perfect at first glance, but lack the internal alignment needed for true fulfillment:
- A wealthy couple, but they have no romantic interest in each other due to lack of compatibility in values and other areas of life (health, relationships, spirituality).
- A couple who appear perfect on social media, but behind closed doors, they avoid deep conversations and meaningful connection.
- A relationship with high physical attraction, but they struggle with jealousy and emotional immaturity.
- Two people who have similar hobbies and interests, but have completely different visions for the future—one wants a family, the other doesn’t.
- A relationship built on obligation—staying together for the kids, the mortgage, or societal and familial pressure—rather than mature, selfless love.
Where do we go from here?
So how long does the honeymoon phase last in dating? Well, as long as it takes to realize things are not flowing correctly, and you begin to doubt the other person’s intentions. Or, it can be as short as it takes for you to realize things are headed in an upward trajectory towards something great in the unknown.
No two relationships are the same, so the length of this lovey-dovey phase doesn’t matter. What matters is how quickly you can figure out where your relationship stands. If you find that your relationship is going poorly, there are several things you can do before you call it quits.
It’s important to be straightforward and mean what you say from the very start of your relationship. You should be radically honest and discuss your standards when it comes to how you view the four pillars of life: health, wealth, relationships, and spirituality.
You can never go wrong by telling the other person what you stand for, but you also have to be willing to end the relationship if there is a misalignment.
Breakups suck! But they are a temporary detour on your journey to finding your true soulmate. So if you’re going to break up, do it as fast as possible once you know there is an irreconcilable misalignment between the two of you. Do not waste any more time!
This honeymoon period can be enjoyable but just know that whether it goes positive or negative, it is only a temporary phase in dating. Ultimately, you should seek to find a partner that gives you a sense of stability, security, and peace. But to attract that, you must find those qualities within yourself first.
Related: The One Secret To A Long Lasting Marriage No One Talks About